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Thoughts - Grin with cat attached — LiveJournal
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Thoughts Nov. 24th, 2004 10:49 am
None of us are truly monogamous. Besides our partners we all have other things we love; places, books, foods, pets, family, hobbies, even concepts. And we don't feel compelled to limit ourselves to one of each of those, as if we were building our identities on an RPG character sheet.
It's assumed, of course, that we love our partners in a different way from all of those other things; but we may also love our (multiple) partners in different ways, or other things in the same way. Life's not a list of checkboxes.



Today, however, looks like being a day of lethargy and depression. Somehow I need to find something worth doing, besides the blasted jobhunt, which feels like I'm firing slowly and blindly into a forest in hopes of hitting something edible.

From: cookwitch
Date: November 24th, 2004 - 11:14 am (Link)
I wholeheartedly agree with you - life should not be a tick sheet. Love is something that applies to many things in many different ways. The love I have for one person is not the same as the love I hold for another - I hate it when people try to pigeonhole emotions.
From: some_fox
Date: November 24th, 2004 - 12:41 pm (Link)
Very wise thought indeed. Thanks for that. I really like the way you've expressed it and it makes total sense to me :-)

Hope you feel happier soon. Jobhunting sounds really tough.
From: ashbet
Date: November 26th, 2004 - 02:52 am (Link)
One thing that I find frustrating is that a lot of people are perfectly cool with having a variety of *friends*, but they can't quite get their heads around why one might consider having a variety of lovers/partners (or more than one, at that).

I have had very different needs met by the people who've been significant in my life . . . the General Public tends to assume that it's just *sexual* needs, but that's not the case at all (although I certainly will say that I'm a different lover with different people, depending on the ways in which we mesh) -- I mean, I love my husband to bits, but I can't *geek* with him in a lot of the ways that are important to me -- we don't share all of the same interests, and I'm perfectly happy with that . . . but I also love to share the thrill of discovery or the delights of sharing a personal treasure with someone who's special to me, and I don't see why I should want to give that up just because I am with someone who I adore but who doesn't enjoy some of those things.

Relationships, in the end, are far more about the underlying friendship than the sex, no matter how good it is . . . I may be an atypical sample, because I've always been someone who prefers to date good friends, and who *stays* friends with former lovers, but, to me, polyamory is about not closing the doors to experiences with new people, and about not restricting love/affection/intimacy to just one person. And stuff.

I'm sure I had a point in there somewhere :>

-- A <3